More Fun Than Disneyland!

Well, in truth, I’ve never been to Disneyland, but I still think we had more fun yesterday than folks wearing mouse ears while riding roller coasters. It definitely was more fun than riding a bike while carrying a cat in a cat carrier, but that’s another story.

It all started a couple of days ago when a delivery man fell in an invisible hole alongside our back walk. It was invisible, because the top layer of sod and grass was intact. He just happened to take a shortcut across the grass and went in up to his knee. Thankfully he was fine. Initially we couldn’t figure out what had caused the hole to develop. Unfortunately it soon became clear. Apparently our old clay waste pipe had developed a slow leak. The leak gradually eroded the ground beneath it. Now the seven decade old pipe was without any ground support, with just a canopy of grass some 18 inches above. So when the delivery guy went in the hole, he must have hit the unsupported pipe. This was not obvious because it was dry as a bone in the hole and the sod and dirt that fell in was obscuring the pipe.

Fast forward to Saturday morning. Yes, of course it was the weekend. We called our plumber who has worked miracles on our ancient plumbing before. We explained what we knew and our theories. He suggested that we didn’t want to pay his guys time and a half to excavate. Time and a half? No - not really. So he said dig the hole out, expose the entire length of the damage and call him back.

It was over 90 degrees yesterday, sunny and very humid. Weather records were broken. I began digging. Chuck soon joined in. It was fairly delicate work because we didn’t want to add to the damage. Soon this is what we saw:


I called the plumber back to report. He then went to check to see if he had the proper parts in stock. He didn’t. Suddenly, even the option of paying time and a half for any weekend work or repair was out of the question. But we really wanted to run water and flush the toilet and take showers...

Our plumber is a practical guy. He deals with this sort of thing all the time. He said we could just enlarge the hole and let the chips fall where they may, so to speak, until his guys could arrive. Then they would deal with the accumulated atrocious mess. I described the girly-girl, non-plumber, jury-rigged plan I had in mind. There was a long pause on the end of the line. Finally, he said: “Well, you could try something like that, but it’s probably not going to work that well.”

So Chuck (ever the good sport and obliging husband/co-conspirator) and I drove down to Home Depot. We spent a fair amount of time in the plumbing department, my little sketch in hand. We assembled an odd assortment of PVC pipe and aluminum duct funnely things - and one giant roll of industrial strength duct tape! As we drove home, our 35 dollars worth of stuff in tow, we encountered a ferocious thunder, lightning and hail storm! Was this an omen?

The storm lulled and we assembled the bits and pieces. We cleared out more of the hole and cleaned up the two ends of the pipe, while a light, warm, steamy mist fell. Chuck volunteered to get in the hole and do the final assembly. Have I mentioned what a good sport he is? Lots of improvising with duct tape, four pairs of chopsticks and one bungee cord later, we had managed to bridge the two pieces of broken pipe. Then came the test. First we ran water in the kitchen sink. The contraption held. Then came the truly scary test. Chuck ran upstairs and flushed the toilet while I monitored our work of art. It held! And it has continued to work through showers, dishwashing, more flushing and even a load of laundry!

I tell you, when that improbable assemblage worked, it was a bigger rush than any roller coaster ride. It meant we had adapted and spent only 35 bucks for parts instead of spending a couple of nights in a hotel room. Chuck claims I’m easy to please and a cheap date. I think we just know how to have a good time!

Here’s the working gizmo, which should have the plumber laughing hysterically when he arrives tomorrow: