Friday, February 16, 2007

A Different Sort of Valentine

Since I fell down the rabbit hole into the blogosphere, I’ve seen a fair amount of venting about ex-spouses and ex-partners by bloggers. I feel uncomfortable about the practice. Once posted, the words go out into the ether, possibly forever. One may feel a little better after crafting and posting the diatribe, but what good has been sent out into the universe? And what has been gained, other than a tea kettle whistle release in the moment?

Both my husband Chuck and I had first marriages which ended in divorce. We both did our fair share of venting, crying and what-iffing with family and friends (They will always have our gratitude for listening!) I also scrawled lots of words onto paper. Many years after Chuck and I were happily married, I still had negative feelings about my ex-husband. I wrote a prayer that I said daily for many, many months. I still say it on occasion. I found that, over time, it helped me release a lot of pain and helped me move on to far more positive things.

Perhaps it will be helpful to someone else. Here it is:

I am saying this prayer for my ex-husband ______
and for my husband’s ex-wife ______.
We send them gratitude for the lessons we both learned
in our first marriages with them
and we wish them
peace, love and understanding.

:: Wishing you all the best...


Gail said...

OK, it's official, you and Chuck are both saints!!!!!


Pink Granite said...

Yup, we're going to start passing out sunglasses to everyone around us, in order to help them deal with the glare from our shiny, shiny halos -------
NOT!!! Soooo very NOT!!!

- Lee ;o)

barbie2be said...

Lee, i agree. bashing an ex-spouse doesn't do anything other than give you a moment of feeling better. it's taken me ten years to be able to think about (and talk about) my ex-husband without feeling a sharp pain in my heart.

but now, i wish him nothing but happiness. clearly, he wasn't happy with me, so he should go find happiness where he can and i should too.

Pink Granite said...

Hi Barbie2Be -
It is such a long and winding road...

I wish you all the happiness in the world. You certainly send out an awful lot of sunshine through your blog!
- Lee