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Friday, February 16, 2007

A Different Sort of Valentine

Since I fell down the rabbit hole into the blogosphere, I’ve seen a fair amount of venting about ex-spouses and ex-partners by bloggers. I feel uncomfortable about the practice. Once posted, the words go out into the ether, possibly forever. One may feel a little better after crafting and posting the diatribe, but what good has been sent out into the universe? And what has been gained, other than a tea kettle whistle release in the moment?

Both my husband Chuck and I had first marriages which ended in divorce. We both did our fair share of venting, crying and what-iffing with family and friends (They will always have our gratitude for listening!) I also scrawled lots of words onto paper. Many years after Chuck and I were happily married, I still had negative feelings about my ex-husband. I wrote a prayer that I said daily for many, many months. I still say it on occasion. I found that, over time, it helped me release a lot of pain and helped me move on to far more positive things.

Perhaps it will be helpful to someone else. Here it is:

I am saying this prayer for my ex-husband ______
and for my husband’s ex-wife ______.
We send them gratitude for the lessons we both learned
in our first marriages with them
and we wish them
peace, love and understanding.



:: Wishing you all the best...

4 comments:

Gail said...

OK, it's official, you and Chuck are both saints!!!!!

:o)

Pink Granite said...

Yup, we're going to start passing out sunglasses to everyone around us, in order to help them deal with the glare from our shiny, shiny halos -------
NOT!!! Soooo very NOT!!!

- Lee ;o)

barbie2be said...

Lee, i agree. bashing an ex-spouse doesn't do anything other than give you a moment of feeling better. it's taken me ten years to be able to think about (and talk about) my ex-husband without feeling a sharp pain in my heart.

but now, i wish him nothing but happiness. clearly, he wasn't happy with me, so he should go find happiness where he can and i should too.

Pink Granite said...

Hi Barbie2Be -
It is such a long and winding road...

I wish you all the happiness in the world. You certainly send out an awful lot of sunshine through your blog!
- Lee