Monday, May 12, 2008

Everything Is Fine - Really!

I’m afraid I have only one thing on my mind tonight. Everything is truly fine. I went to the doctor today for a routine exam. There is absolutely nothing wrong. But because I am about to turn fifty, the doctor had a laundry list of questions, concerns and tests to be run. I posted about this doctor last year. Little has changed, except I am better prepared for who she is and how she interacts with her patients.

What I find myself thinking a lot about is this: from an emotional standpoint, I keep reminding myself that I will be the same person on the last day that I will be 49, as I will be on the first day I turn 50. But because I am crossing a chronological line, I am being grouped statistically in a new actuarial group. Worse still, it is a different medical actuarial group. I understand that many tests are part of preventive medicine rather than diagnostic. They provide a baseline of what is “normal” for an individual and allow problems to be caught early. Trust me, I have followed the rules about such things for many, many years. But today felt different. Even my previous prince of a doctor had told me that when I reached fifty, we would look at some things and reevaluate strategies. However, I believe he would have handled today quite differently.

It’s hard not to feel happy, excited and, yes, a little scared as I reach a half century on the planet. It’s also hard not to get scared about growing older in general and menopause in particular or as I like to call it “That Which Shall Not Be Named”! Especially when I watch a television ad they run here in the U.S.. It shows a woman with little sparkly bits flying out of her body. Turns out the little sparkly bits are her bones being ravaged by osteoporosis! The voiceover starts to talk about menopause and I vacillate between wanting to throw a shoe at the T.V. and fighting down a wave of panic!

Not throwing shoes...
Breathing now...


Sue said...

Everything is fine and you must be very grateful for that. You're healthy. You're alive. When life gets me down, I always like to remember how many people didn't live to be my age (although I'm only nearly 31). It's a privilege to grow older (although, yes, it is scary too) and we just have to embrace it. Ride the wave. Menopause and all.

Sue x

PS. Happy birthday for Sunday, promise to have a glass of bubbly on you, providing that I don't have too many for me on Saturday night...

Anonymous said...

Please, it's much worse having my "baby" sister turn 50, show me some compassion, pity. I'm too young to have a younger sister who is 50!



Pink Granite said...

Hi Sue -
Please know, I am very grateful.
Thank you for the gentle and important reminder.
Riding the wave now...
- Lee
P.S. Happy Birthday to you and Jake as well! Cheers!

Hi Gail -
You, Karen and Mom are all sending me the same message! I had no idea my 50th birthday would send such shock waves through the family!
- Lee

Roo said...

THROW SHOES!!! let yourself go ;o) (ok I could be a bad idea bear)

dancingmorganmouse said...

Doctors, pfft, they have their uses but don't let them make you feel old. As for the menopause, fingers crossed you either drank a lot of milk or ate a lot of cheese as a young un. And 50, wow, that's kind of exciting, Mr Brown & I may have to toast you with our mothers-day-special champagne on the day - can't think of a better use for it. I'm sure your beloved will make sufficient fuss, he seems a bit of a prince himself xxx

Pink Granite said...

Hi Roo -
Thanks for being a Bad Idea Bear!
I appreciate the encouragement to go a little wild!
- Lee

Hi DMM -
By all means! I would be happy to provide the excuse for you and Mr. Brown to enjoy the bubbly!

Thanks for the advice about doctors. I take anything this new gal says with a grain of salt!

Chuck is a prince! But toasts on multiple continents - I'm already spoiled!!!
- Lee