Friday, March 26, 2010

Check Mate

Here in the U.S. they run an awful lot of advertisements for dating services. They talk about the science, simplicity and safety of having their particular service match you with your true love. We have two reactions when we see these ads: 1. Thank God we’re not looking. And 2. They never would have matched us!

On paper there is very little Chuck and I have in common. He likes classical music; I tolerate it. He does crossword puzzles daily; I think them unnecessarily abstruse. He’s very social and outgoing; I believe good fences make good neighbors. He was raised Jewish; I was raised Catholic. When we met, Chuck enjoyed his role as an intellectual snob: while I liked to have my finger on the pulse of popular culture. He listened to NPR; I watched MTV (back when they aired videos!). He grew up in the midwest; I’m Rhode Island all the way. He is fifteen years my senior; umm - same in reverse. Then there was the whole taxes issue, which I’m not sure if dating services poll people on, but which took a couple of decades and Barack Obama to resolve for us.

Now, I suppose, if they dug deeply enough, any dating service (or more likely a human matchmaker, a shadchen) would figure out that we share a common set of values. They also would figure out that we both love to laugh. But would they have any idea that we laugh at a lot of the same things - Marx Brothers and Three Stooges excepted? How would they know that word play makes us ridiculously happy and to do it in multiple languages is a grand slam? Speaking of baseball, we were both just casual baseball fans, but, after meeting, became devoted Boston Red Sox fans together. Where are the boxes to tick for all that?

When we met, we knew. No, we didn’t know we would marry one day. But we did feel a connection; a sense of old friends reuniting; a spark. I don’t know how the dating services figure that out. I’m just happy we were lucky enough not to require outside assistance.


dancingmorganmouse said...

Well, as you know, Mr Brown and I are polar opposites and yet manage to stumble along together happily (except for the whole ice-cream thing, but we shall not speak of that today). Deep down we too must share some “values” and we too love to laugh. It’s a good thing, I think, that people so different can get along, it bodes well for the world :)
O, and who’s the Marx Brothers and Three Stooges fan, hmmmm?

dancingmorganmouse said...

Ps, I guess this means my sister is a shadchen! I must remember to tell her.

Pink Granite said...

Hi DMM -
They say opposites attract, but I never get the feeling that the services are thinking that way!
While Chuck & I have opposite aspects, we do complement each other in many ways. Add that to what we do have in common & it's a win!

I'll confess, I truly hate the Three Stooges. Sometimes The Marx Brothers make me laugh, but I dislike much of their frenetic comedy.

Congratulations to your sister. Were you and Mr. Brown a "one off" or does she have a track record?
- Lee

Sue said...

While I am single, I don't think I could ever stoop as low as to use a dating service (definitely not an online one!). I do believe in fate and destiny though and if I'm meant to meet someone, he'll cross my path at the right moment for both of us.

I also strongly believe that opposites attract, I think it keeps relationships interesting. Imagine never being surprised by someone!!

Glad you've both met your perfect exact opposites...


Pink Granite said...

Hi Sue -
It doesn't help dating services that they are sometimes used as plot devices in television murder mysteries!

That aside, love seems to be made up of a certain magical combination of common interests & shared values coupled with complementary aspects and enough opposites to keep life interesting!
I hope that special man crosses paths with you at just the right moment!
Thank you...
- Lee

dancingmorganmouse said...

One off ;) We were a blind date set up by she & her boyfriend, probably so they could have "adult" supervision on a double date!