Change of Pace

We spent the late afternoon and early evening out on Chuck’s sister’s and her husband’s 60 year old Grandy boat. A daylong, heavy, dense fog lifted enough to allow us to cruise across Lake Union, moving through Portage Bay to Union Bay then out onto Lake Washington. We then headed over to Cozy Cove, just off Kirkland and dropped anchor. The boat floated gently in the still water as we ate our dinner. As the sun set, the Christmas lights bedecking the homes on shore and the boats moored nearby, all began to glitter and twinkle.

A sea plane about to land on Lake Union


The Space Needle across Lake Union


The often elusive Mount Rainier in the distance


Cozy Cove at twilight

A Reason To Celebrate

We’ve visited Chuck’s Dad a total of eighteen times since we’ve been out here in Washington State. Dad has had good moments and not so good moments. There have been smiles from Dad which we treasure. There has been laughter and yes, tears. This afternoon, as Chuck and I stood beside Dad’s bed, B. who takes amazing care of him, asked Dad: “Milton, who’s that man?” as she pointed to Chuck. “That’s my son.” replied Milton. “And Milton, who’s that lady?” B. asked as she pointed to me. “That’s his wife.” said Dad. That was the first time in nine days that we really knew for sure that Dad actually knew who we were.

The photo above shows Seattle’s iconic 605 foot tall Space Needle decorated for Christmas. Well, that’s what they tell the public. But I’m pretty sure they trimmed it out in celebration of the wonderful gift the 94 year old patriarch of our family gave to Chuck and me today.

Thanksgiving

The day started out wrapped in fog, but by late morning the scene above is what we enjoyed. Here in Greater Seattle it’s still Wednesday, but back home it’s tipped over into Thursday. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating in the United States. Best wishes for peace and prosperity to everyone around the globe.

Two Years!

Happy Anniversary to Pink Granite! Today is its two year anniversary!

As I wrote last year, the most wonderful thing that has happened since launching this blog, is that I have “met” so many warm, kind, funny, intelligent and well intentioned people from all around the world. It is no exaggeration to say that this virtual community has broadened my horizons and enriched my life. Without the folks who read and leave comments, Pink Granite would just be me talking to myself! Thanks for making PG a fun conversation, rather than a monologue!

: : Here’s to Pink Granite readers - you rock!

Tech Note To My Blog Friends

While we’ve been away, we’ve continued to have access to the internet. After I check and respond to our e-mail, I’ve tried to stop by and visit a few blogs. Unfortunately, when I begin to leave a comment on some Blogspot based blogs, the hotel’s computer access alerts me that I am on a “fraudulent website”! If I go ahead and comment, it slows my internet access to crawl! Reading what’s happening in your lives is always interesting and these days provides a lovely distraction. So I’ll keep up with your feeds and comment when I can.

Up & Down

On both of our visits with Chuck’s Dad yesterday, he was very subdued, withdrawn and sleepy. Because of that, it was the toughest day for us. Then, on our visit this morning, it was as if we had been transported back to the spring. Dad was downright chipper compared to yesterday, enjoying his beverages and interacting with us - including some big smiles. But after about a half an hour, Dad’s energy ran out. There’s no way to know what we’ll find when we visit with him this afternoon, but we felt so lucky to have been there with him during that bright spot.

T.J. Maxx & Milton

Many years ago, a chain of discount clothing stores called T.J. Maxx had a commercial jingle which went like this: “...never, ever the same place twice...”. Since we have been out here visiting Chuck’s 94 year old Dad, Milton, that song keeps running through my mind. You see, every visit with Chuck’s Dad is a little different from the one before. We last saw Dad back in the spring. In the intervening seven plus months he has declined a great deal. On this trip we visit him twice a day, as was our custom in the spring. But whereas last March and April there seemed to be a certain rhythm to Dad’s condition and his energy level and comfort throughout the day, as well as day to day, this time it feels random and unpredictable.

Visiting and attending someone who has lived a full, long life as he nears the unknowable end, leads to a welter of emotions and thoughts. I can’t help but think back on my Dad’s final months with Alzheimer’s Disease. Chuck thinks about his Mom in her last months, succumbing to the same cruel illness. Chuck and I find ourselves discussing difficult practical matters such as ordinary vs. extraordinary means, as well as philosophical questions about the meaning and purpose of life. The practical matters were addressed and resolved earlier this evening in Chuck’s sister Carol’s and her husband’s living room, when we weighed the pros and cons of all sorts of comfort care vs. active intervention care.

The philosophical questions still hang in the air, awaiting further conversations. But one thing became clear to me this afternoon: even as Dad’s capacity to interact and his abilities and health diminish, he is still influencing and driving this family. Without the prompt of his circumstances, Chuck and I wouldn’t have moved reviewing our health care proxy and medical directive forms and letters to the top of our to do list when we get home. Without Dad’s current condition, Chuck and I would not be back out here so soon, spending time with Dad as well as Carol and her family. Without Dad’s health, well being and quality of life constantly on our minds, Chuck and I wouldn’t be wrestling with issues of mortality and love enduring.

Even though Dad is no longer able to instruct us directly, he is still guiding us; he is still leading us; he is still teaching us. Thank you Dad.

Heading West

Chuck’s Dad, who is 94, has been under hospice care since late summer. He still lives in the same wonderful Adult Family Home, but receives additional services. Lately, Dad has had some medical ups and downs which made us feel we needed to go out and visit with him, as well as Chuck’s sister and her family. We’ll be leaving tomorrow for Greater Seattle, but don’t yet have a firm return date.

I’m not sure when I will be posting next, but I will stay in touch. Knowing my regular readers, I thank you in advance for your good wishes and kind thoughts.

A Little More Buttoning Up

While the meteorologists said today would be the warmest day of the week, we still had a few tiny, tentative snow flurries this afternoon. Of course these arrived just as Chuck was climbing the ladder to clean the gutter on the front of the barn. Because our barn is old and swaybacked, even after extensive renovations, our fairly new gutter has a matching dip in it. The gutter guys who took the installation job were none too pleased with our obvious contentment with a less than rectilinear structure, but gutter us they did. The consequence is that every autumn, after the last oak leaf from the tree next to the barn has drifted to the ground, Chuck climbs up the ladder and empties the troughy part of the gutter of its accumulated debris. If for some reason Chuck does not climb the ladder, come spring, little green shoots will start sprouting up in the lowest point of the gutter; a jaunty spring green feather in the barn’s cap!

Another task we tended to today was checking the drain in our cellar. Late this summer, we noticed what we initially thought was just the opening of a chipmunk tunnel in our driveway. But then it got bigger - and deeper. Luckily it got smaller and eventually disappeared. But during the expansion, contraction and deconstruction, we began to have a nagging worry that the hole might just be over the approximate line our cellar drain runs along. Considering the excitement we had last September with our waste pipe, we vacillated between the narrow range of out of sight, out of mind and putting our heads firmly in the sand. Today we pulled our heads out, dragged a hose into the cellar and ran water through the cellar drain. The important word in the last sentence was “through”. It worked. No puddles formed at my feet; another bullet dodged!

Hmmm... I think I’m beginning to understand why people move to condominiums...

Happy Birthday Mom!

”Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Mom
Happy Birthday to you -
and many more!
Wheeeeeee!!!”

My Mom, Dorothy, is celebrating her 85th birthday today!
Yay Mom!

The Ocean

Standing on the ocean floor - the tidal bar which connects Mount Desert and Bar Islands at low tide

I have always loved the ocean and been drawn to it. I love its beauty and its constancy. I respect its power. I never liked swimming in the ocean after dark. The few times I have, I’ve felt as if I were overstepping my bounds, intruding on the ocean’s privacy. I’ve always felt comforted at the ocean’s edge. Walking along the sand, in and out of the lapping waves, at any time of the year, in any kind of weather, I have always felt safe and warm. Living about two hours from the ocean is the only thing I wish I could change about where we live now. But to magically transplant our home and land within walking distance of the ocean or better still, in sight of it, would financially put it impossibly out of reach.

But right now I wish we were closer. I would love to listen to the surf, the gulls, the wind. I would love to smell the ocean; the crispness of high tide, the pungency of low tide. I would love to feel the power of the ocean and be comforted by it once again. Right now I’m feeling a little overwhelmed - perhaps one too many spinning plates. At the ocean’s edge, all the plates come down off the poles; any problems I may be facing are forced into perspective by the ocean’s vastness and its deep, ancient rhythms. I need that perspective right now.

Under Two Bucks!

For the first time since May of 2005, we paid under two dollars a gallon for regular unleaded gasoline. We bought it for $1.959 a gallon at the BJ’s Wholesale Club gas station in Leominster (off 2 & 12).

On a related subject: we have yet to receive our first home heating oil delivery this autumn. But with the current price of oil, we sure think we made the right decision not to lock in over the summer. Fingers crossed...

A Row Of Autumn Trees

You may remember a photo I took last spring. A couple of days ago, Chuck came home and said: “You’ve got to see those trees. They’re amazing!” He was right. What’s interesting is that many of the trees around here are already stripped bare by wind and rain. But these beauties were still in all their autumn glory.

Think Cool Thoughts Kiddo!

They’ve recently had some snow in northern New England, but it has yet to snow in the hills of Worcester County - - - this season. The photo above was taken December 14, 2007. And no, I’m not trying to jinx anything and bring this much beauty on prematurely! I uploaded this for Morgan in Australia, who is not fond of warm weather.

Is That Dap In My Hair?

The recent excitement around our barn and the attendant expenses, while extremely reasonable (Thank you Roger!), have put our home improvement plans on a less ambitious timetable. That means that our elderly mature home will not be getting its windows replaced this season. So we put some time and energy into repairing and re-glazing some rickety tired windows and old fashioned, wood framed, hang on the outside of the house storm windows. Eight windows and far more Dap 33 Glazing than any professional worth their salt would be caught dead using, we no longer have an active MIT Wind Tunnel in our house!

Yay us!

Proposition 8 Follow Up

California’s Proposition 8, which proposed to amend the state constitution to limit marriage to unions between a man and a woman, was approved, via a Yes vote, by the voters on November 4, 2008.

During the Proposition 8 campaign, the Roman Catholic organization The Knights of Columbus was one of the biggest contributors to the “Vote Yes on 8” side. However, individual members of the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter Day Saints, the Mormons, at the behest of their leadership, contributed over 14 million dollars to the “Vote Yes on 8” campaign.

While it was Republicans and groups on the religious right who worked hard and poured millions into the “Vote Yes on 8” campaign, post election the approval of Proposition 8 has been repeatedly linked to the high voter turnout in the African American community, due to the enthusiasm for Barack Obama. People For The American Way, PFAW, has released a detailed statement which debunks this divisive rumor.

As I’ve written before, one of the most specious arguments against Gay Marriage has been proffered by a number of socially conservative groups, including the Roman Catholic Church. The legality of same sex marriage in no way intrudes upon who the Church, or any other religious organization, allows to marry. Yet they continue to inveigh that same sex marriage is an attack on the family and undermines the sacrament of marriage. In our experience, nothing could be further from the truth. Allowing more couples to publicly affirm their commitment and enter into legal marriages can only serve to strengthen our society.

I urge you to read the PFAW Memo which sorts truth from fiction.

Change

The new website is up!

Change.gov is the new online site for the transition of President-Elect Barack Obama and Vice President-Elect Joe Biden. You can find all sorts of information there, as well as share your stories about what this election has meant to you and share your vision for the future!

On History

I haven’t written about the historic nature of Barack Obama becoming the 44th President of the United States of America. He is the first person of African descent to achieve the highest office in the land.

I grew up during the Civil Rights movement of the late 1950s, 1960s and beyond. But I was a white kid, born into a country where a great deal of privilege was automatically afforded me because of the color of my skin.

I’ve written about my gratitude for the decision my parents made to break the chain of prejudice within our family. I’ve been able understand intellectually what it means to be a person of color in America and I believe I have had empathy. But at the end of the day, I am still a white woman.

So I’ll turn to some of my blog friends who have written eloquently this week about what having Barack Obama as our President-Elect means to them:
Renee and her husband Kent both place this election within the context of their personal history and experiences. And George has expressed his feelings in a moving letter.

I thank them all.

Thoughts After November 4th

: : I’ve had lots of feelings since Tuesday night. Those related to the results of the presidential election have been almost exclusively positive - especially after I got over the sense of disbelief! Deep down, I really expected we would be holding our breath for hours, if not days, as we had to in 2000 and 2004. Watching it all unfold beginning at 11:00 p.m. eastern time was stunning - thrilling, but stunning!

: : In the midst of the joy, bad news rolled in. Most disappointing was the approval of California’s Proposition 8, which amended the state constitution to limit marriage to unions between a man and a woman. This came after more than 18,000 same-sex couples have been legally married in California. Florida and Arizona voters also passed preemptive bans on same-sex marriage.

: : If the John McCain who gave a gracious concession speech Tuesday night had been the “Candidate McCain” on the campaign trail, they might still be counting votes. And if the information coming from the McCain campaign staffers about Sarah Palin, to Fox News’ Carl Cameron is remotely true, we were incredibly fortunate that it was the 2008 version of John McCain who ran for president.

: : President-Elect Obama spoke about the need to end division and partisanship in his election night speech:

“In this country, we rise or fall as one nation, as one people. Let's resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long.

Let's remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House, a party founded on the values of self-reliance and individual liberty and national unity.

Those are values that we all share. And while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress.

As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, we are not enemies but friends. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection.”

That is still difficult for me. I expect that it will be for longer than I would like. My anger remains deep and hot over the lies promulgated by Senator McCain, Governor Palin, their staffers and the Big Republican Machine, especially post conventions to the election. But what has left me more depressed than angry has been how many people believed the lies. When such individuals are known to me, there are additional feelings.

: : The post election maps drawn by political analysts show a country with more blue than red. (We still don’t have final numbers, but the most recent information has Obama-Biden at 53% and McCain-Palin at 46%.) That is cause for excitement and satisfaction. But I worry that all those pointillistic red dots, spreading into red counties and red states represent people who may be feeling as upset and dismayed as I felt in 2000 and 2004. I hope they can hear President- Elect Obama’s sentiments I quoted above. But if I, as a voter for the winners, am struggling, I have to believe folks who voted Republican are also challenged by his words.

: : Despite significant increases in registered voters, the voter turnout still hovered around only 60-61% of people eligible to vote.

: : Lastly, the number of spinning plates the new Obama-Biden administration will be facing is enormous. Watching the national and international reaction I do not believe I am overstating it when I say that many people are expecting that this election will somehow lead to the healing of an ailing world. Folks may not believe intellectually that is possible, but it seems to be a widely held hope.

I hope that President-Elect Obama will ask for our help in tackling these myriad and difficult tasks. Look what happened when a young State Senator from Illinois spoke at the 2004 Democratic Convention and sparked a movement of millions who stated: “Yes We Can”. We have come this far. We can go the distance. Together, yes we can...

Our 44th President

Here is the video from earlier this morning of President-Elect Barack Obama’s speech.



“If there is anyone out there who doubts that America is a place where anything is possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

“And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years -- block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand. What began 21 months ago in the depths of winter cannot end on this autumn night.
This victory alone is not the change we seek. It is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were.
It can't happen without you, without a new spirit of service, a new spirit of sacrifice.
So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism, of responsibility, where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves but each other.”
- Barack Obama
November 5, 2008

Click to read the entire transcript of Barack Obama’s speech, including the story of Mrs. Ann Nixon Cooper, age 106!